Frankly Frank · Titbits

5 Reasons I Can’t Join Fitfam

 

@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?

@Twitter User One: Ab-workout, squats, planks, push ups, leg throw. RT @DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?

@Twitter UserTwo: “@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?” Jogged and then push-ups

@TwitterUserThree: Went to the gym. Summer body loading! “@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?”

@TwitterUserFour: @DeLaTerre: 20 sit ups, 10 push ups, 30 flutter kicks, elbow plank, 40 squats and I ran on 3rd Mainland bridge.

You can’t even tell me you’ve not seen things like this on your timeline before. It is the biggest new thing (craze) on your timeline after the beard gang thing. Different nutritional health brands, a lot of ideas and workout plans, many more fishes in the support group and all that.

Disclaimer: This is the story of a failed #fitfam member.

Now, I used to dream to be fit you know? It started on a normal day when I was twatching on the timeline.

@DeLaTerre: Fitstud motivation: (insert picstitch with before/after picture) It’s @iamxyz

@TwitterUserFive: @DeLaTerre @iamxyz OMG! Is that you Bam Bam?

@TwitterUserSix: YUMMMM! RT @DeLaTerre: Fitstud motivation: (insert before picture) (insert after picture) It’s @iamxyz

And then the comments come rolling in. You know how you get motivated yannah? When you see people who used to be like you become like someone else in few days (not a few days – a lot of days). And then you get the motivation. You know you want to send in that picstich of you before and after bragging too the whole world.

“If I can dream it, I can do it”

And that’s it. You start. I even got a meal plan (let’s not talk about that). Then, I started exercising. From exercising, it became more of music and less of exercising. I’ll just plug my headphone and then lose myself for a couple of minutes. It was probably at this junction I found out it won’t work for me.

Now, I appreciate you all working out real hard (I don’t like you and I’m jealous) but here are the reasons I don’t see myself joining the fitfam navy anytime soon.

1. I’m a glutton – Even though my body shape doesn’t approve of this notion, I really love to eat. So far you’re not giving me beans, bitter leaf soup, ukwa (a traditional igbo meal), I guess I’m fine. Jollof rice does no wrong in my eyes no matter how bad it is. I basically eat everything, at anytime I can get it. I’m that dude who can wake his neighbors as early as 2 all because I want to satisfy my craving. Now with #Fitfam, I get to be restricted to some foods and even say complete goodbye to some which I know I can’t.

2. My pocket is not ready yet – There was a time my boss took me to one restaurant in VI for a lunch meeting and I ordered one special food like this (PS: I had mailed one fitness trainer earlier and they had prepared a diet for me). So I attempted to have the food from the diet and it was very expensive. You needed to see the shock when I now saw the quantity. Father Lord, I wanted to cry. I was struggling hard to follow up during the meeting because I was just looking at my own food and crying within. No, but seriously, maybe not as I’m a student right now. Sometime in the distant future.

3. I’m lazy when it comes to exercising – The last time I signed up for a gym, I went just four times in a month. I’m very passionate about it though. I watch videos off Youtube and stuffs, but when it comes to actual performance, mba. (Don’t ask me how many push-ups I can do). The worst is even waking up at 5am to jog around. The day my roomate woke me up to do that stuff, it wasn’t funny. That’s the hardest because it’s around that time that the sleep is most beautiful.

4. I have a sweet tooth – Haribos, Ice-cream, chocolates, cakes, everything, jekuje. I eat them. And I don’t get tired of them. I’m Igbo, so I hardly spend my money on them but if I’m trying to belong to #fitfam, I have to say goodbye to them totally which won’t be as easy as people think it is. I don’t think a day goes by without me taking a candy or something sugary.

5. I don’t have a pot belly/ I think my body is okay – I remember the first time I told a friend I was joining #fatfam and she was like “ah, thini beku like you. You want to break?”. Another asked me “which weight do you want to loose?” Then I checked the mirror, I may not have any pacs you know, but there’s no Igbo pot belly anywhere. I’m just that slim dude without pacs (but wait oh, no pacs, no beard too–> 😥 ) So I won’t want to “loose the small weight I’ve put on” as people would say.

Anyway, kudos to you all on the movement! More ugwu smoothies and squats.

Are you in the #fitfam? If yes, why? If no, why not?

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