Shit! Look Who We Have Here

So hello guys!

Been long you all saw me here and I’m not even sure what I’m doing here now. Life has been great and all and we outchea struggling to make a decent living and not look like what we’ve been going through. It’s going on pretty well, in case you asked.

There’s been a lot going on and I will probably write about it. I was a year older in February, spent a fulfilling weekend at a beach, may or may not be seeing someone amidst other things. I will write about this. One of the major things that have been happening is this never-ending cycle of doing well and relaxing. Some days, you see certain people and you start to think of what you’re not doing right. And you try to be more serious and all, and end up not getting a callback or an email. Then, you just go back to lazing about and managing that which you own.

So, a lot of people (read my colleague at work ) have asked why I have stopped posting here and the answer is simple. It’s a breed of laziness and work. I’m really doing a lot right now and well, when I have free time, this space is the last thing that I think of. (That’s even if I think of it, y’all still important to me). Then, I’m always laying around so there’s that too. Anyway, it’s going to change. A few redesigns here are in the work and we move! (Am I not even tired of saying this?)


For one, my monthly good things will be moving to a Tinyletter. So I’ve toyed with this idea of having a tinyletter (a newsletter with random cool things I pick on the internet). I had the idea sometime last year but did nothing with it but well, I’m doing it now. So I’ll be moving the monthly things I love to the tinyletter and every other thing will likely appear on the blog if I post. It’s just super cool to say I have a Tinyletter I figure. (Very excited about this one)


So if you don’t know what the monthly good things is about, it’s basically like a drop down of movies, TV shows, web series, music, photos, articles, books and places I’ve been to. Please drop your emails to get the first one when I send it at the end of this month – I think next Friday or Saturday (sometimes on the weekend when I’m lazing about)
New blog posts will probably come up after I’m done sorting out the newsletter iish!

Until then,
Peace people.


Let’s Talk About What We Get As “Customer Service” in Nigeria

So it’s been a lot of bants without rants on this site and I’m deciding to turn the table today and ranting or venting a little.

From the topic, it’s clear what we want to talk about today. Customer service.

Wikipedia defines customer service as

 the provision of service to customersbefore, during and after a purchase.

and goes on to add that

The perception of success of such interactions is dependent on employees “who can adjust themselves to the personality of the guest”.


Summary of this long talk is that customer service is basically rendering services to customers before, during and AFTER a purchase. Get that? After a purchase.

Now, I like to think I believe in doing things the right way and maybe it’s just me, but I’ve been very unfortunate when it comes to customer service here in Nigeria. I’ll discuss a few scenarios

1. Telecom companies – So I heard this network provider was offering a data plan that was better than the one I used and so I decided to try it

*inserts na me fuck up meme*

So I paid for the plan and tried accessing the internet but to no avail. I called customer care and waited for more than ten minutes and eventually when someone picked the phone, she told me to get a book and a pen. I got this and then she hung up. I was so shocked that day. And that was how my money went, never got to use the data plan.


This is not the first time a telecom company is stressing me, but at least it’s the latest of the likes.


2. Manufacturing companies – This one is the latest of my customer service woes and still annoys me every time. In short, it’s annoying me because I’m typing on this laptop as we speak. So in December, I got a new laptop. That was after I resigned from my old job (I was using the company’s laptop at that point and so I didn’t feel the need to get a new one). I walked into Spar at Maryland and got a laptop (I will not reveal the brand but if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know). Sometime in June, laptop stops charging and I try to contact the brand via social media. It took like two days and a lot of tweets to have them to follow me (I work with social media so it’s a shock how public businesses like that still don’t  have their DMs open) And when I did, it took another two days before they replied me. Sent back another response and nobody has responded ever since then. But they tweet on a regular. So so confused.


3. Food companies – I just remembered this one. On one Saturday afternoon, I went to work (when I was still in Lagos) and then I ordered food from this eatery that has an online website. I sat in my office, waiting for food and then after an hour, I called and they said my food was on it’s way to me. One hour? Really bruh? Anyway, I was seriously hungry and I waited patiently. (Meanwhile, that was when I found out that their customer care line wasn’t free because my credit was taken). Thirty minutes after I made the call, I went to get something else to eat and I’m glad I did because these people never came. And then they emailed me four hours after saying whatever they said. Who does that? Really?


Anyway, that’s all the customer care drama I remember. Share your customer care wahala in the comments! I’ll love to read and more importantly, what do we do to curb this?

#NYSCTales: Pilot Episode

What’s up people? The long-awaited NYSC is almost here and I’ll be sharing my experience on the blog. Hopefully, I’ll get to also write at the end of the program if it is worth it or if it should be scrapped.

Before Registration

Now, probably because of my job or probably because I thought it would be scrapped, I didn’t look forward to the whole news on my class’ whatsapp page. I blanked out, was mute, and just scrolling through the messages. They had every right to talk though, one year after graduation and still home without serving interrupting the ones that wanted to go into serious things. Anyway, few days before the registration date, a link came up asking us to confirm names sent by the school senate to the NYSC body. Checked mine and all details were correct and a few days after, we had to register at cyber cafes selected by NYSC


Registration started on a Tuesday. I did mine on a Friday. It was quite tough seeing as the cyber cafes NYSC listed were in my area were either nonexistent or the ones with phone numbers weren’t picking.

Eventually, I had to go down to some cyber café a bit far from the house to register. Now, there were the funny questions like date of graduation from primary school, secondary and uni which honestly I don’t know.

The operator placed June and I’m like okay. Then it came down to the state selections, and I’m like “Where are all the states I wanted?” There was no Lagos, no Calabar, no Ekiti, no Akwa Ibom, no Enugu and no Rivers.

Ended up picking Ondo, Abia and Benue and honestly, I want Ondo please. (Baba God, do it for your boy)

I also picked out shirt, trousers and shoe sizes and I hope I don’t have to make adjustments to them.

After Registration

I have to go to school to run one or two things with the Student Affairs unit and the departmental office before the postings come out. Hopefully, they’ll give me my Ondo or just give me Lagos. I mean, this ‘choose three states from different geopolitical zones’ may just be a serious plot twist. Until then, I’ll keep looking and laughing.

Random Titbits on a Wednesday Morning

  • I’m thinking of leaving a full time job I have for an internship in a field I enjoy
  • I’m now extra careful about what I say because I fear there’s a CCTV camera monitoring (thank you Emily Thorne from Revenge)
  • I need a new phone
  • I want a MacBook
  • I need a holiday
  • I love coffee way too much
  • I’m already thinking of plans for my next birthday in February (Quick clue: There’s a birthday hashtag)
  • I’m hungry
  • Online shopping sites need to do much better with customer service
  • I’m trying out shea butter whipped with honey on my skin
  • Harvey Specter has a lot of similarities with Archer Sterling
  • I’m still praying for dreams to come through
  • I need a new wardrobe
  • I love most of the articles on Zikoko
  • Eye Service kills me all the damn time
  • I cannot remember when last I made a diary entry
  • Quick Tip, friends: Never yell on me over the phone.
  • I want a lover to sing ‘The Latest’ by Runtown to
  • Patoranking’s dance in ‘My Woman, My Everything’ is actually everything
  • Can’t wait for this NYSC thing to be done with
  • NYSC post me to Calabar
  • Victoria Grayson is actually Victoria Grayson in real life!
  • Does anyone watch Borgia? I’m thinking of starting, not sure!
  • I’ve been writing here for quite a while
  • I’m willing to try out new opportunities, so far it’s within my horizon



(May update this if I have more thoughts)

Weekend Vibes: Single in Gidi and New Stuff I Learnt This Week

Cheers to the freaking weekend! Yes, I’ll drink to that.

What’s up people? How far na? I have so many things in my head to write but time, work and laziness won’t let me be. Anyway, I’ll try to fix all this weekend hopefully (as I have no plans).

Last weekend,  I saw a stage play at TerraKulture titled ‘Single in Gidi’. It was a stage adaptation of discussions and a lot more happening on the Single in Gidi blog curated by Miss Gidi. There were topics ranging from dating, relationship and love and and I tell you it was an amazing play! It was directed by Kenneth Uphopho, produced by Lydia Sobogun and featured the likes of Omoye Uzamere, Meg Otanwa, Leelee Byoma, Timi Charles Fadipe, Austine Onuoha and Tosin Oguntayo.

I also saw the beautiful Titilope Sonuga from Gidi Up, Wale Adetula of the Naked Convos and there was musician and songwriter, Bez Idakula and his pretty wife. (Bez even gave us special rendition of some of his songs, amazing stuff). The stage play covered topics rangng from aso-ebi, to the hidden truth behind jogging on the Lekkki Bridge, to weddings and single-married relationships. You should go see it this Sunday (it’s the final viewing) by 3pm and 6pm. Tickets are available at the venue.

This week, I learnt/ re-discovered some new stuff which I’ll share with you

  1. Sleepwalking is a real thing – Came back home after work on Friday last week and I had to prepare a power point presentation for Saturday morning. Slept off early and forgot where I kept my laptop. Next morning, I was looking for the laptop and you won’t believe where I found it later.
  1. Eargasms are a real thing – Basic headphones/headsets/earbuds are shit. Believe me when I say so. These new ones I got recently are the real deal. I feel the background beats and it’s so beautiful. Always so beautiful
  1. Dancing is a stress remover – This week has been real hectic at the office. Hectic that I have considered resigning and just relaxing (I’m not). But to ease off the stress, I have taken consolation in dancing. I just come home and dance. (Quick tip: I think it’s better when you’re naked)
  1. Don’t check movie ratings before watching – No seriously stop it! People who comment on the internet about movies are real rude movie buffs that can make you even hate the movie before watching. So just watch whatever you want to watch and then give your views later, in the future or whenever you decide to.
  1. Sleep early – Yes, I started this week to sleep early and its fun. Really it is, I sleep early and wake up say 2, watch movies till 4 and then enjoy the best part of the morning sleep. Awesome stuff

Until then,

Peace, love and everything you wish for!


Random Ramblings on a Thursday

Hello guys! Today, I’ll be talking about a lot of random stuff here. And it’s my blog so I’m allowed to talk as I want (okay, it’s our blog). Mi casa, su casa. In no particular order, here they are:

  • Lagos is shit

I think this is an established fact already and I have been hearing it continuously but I had to work in Lagos before I understood this properly. I have been working in Lagos for about 7 months now (Johnny Just Come) without a car and a driver, occasionally with lifts up and down and I must tell you, it’s been horrible (maybe if I had a car or a driver, it would be better). There’s the traffic which annoys me a lot. Like how can you be leaving your office at 6pm and be in traffic for another 1-2 hours? What is this life? Today was the worst day of it all and no president/president elect was in town. Left my house say around 8am and unfortunately for me, a family friend found me at the bus-stop and decided to give me a lift (yes, I said unfortunately). So, she’s going to Ikoyi and wants to go through the 3rd Mainland bridge and I have to get to Costain. (Now here’s why it’s unfortunate) She drops me somewhere before Jibowu and it was now wahala to get a bus from there. Got to the office after everything at 10am and well, we have to work! Lagos is just suffering and smiling. Now, if you’re thinking of coming here soon, please don’t

  1. You’ll contribute to the hardship we’re facing here
  2. You won’t like it
  3. We don’t want you
  4. We are trying to get rid of some people
  5. Just stay where you are
  6. Thank you!
  • MET Gala 2015

I saw some pictures from the MET GALA and I’m going to be telling you a little bit about them. I think the most talked about outfit was Rihanna’s because she’s Rihanna. Favorite outfit for me was between Amal Clooney and Zendaya.

Boom, check if your duvet is missing!

Tired of this Janelle Monae thing, where she shows up as either a superhero or dressed in black or white.

Keeping it chic with the theme, Zendaya!

Love it, Gaga!

Honestly, no! Shoes, yes!

No, our wife! NO!

So simple and gorgeous!

If you missed the looks, you can catch them all here and I should say Beyonce and Kim Kardashian didn’t do it for me, none of them!

  • Warri and Awka – A Tale of two cities

Last weekend, I traveled to do one or two things and I decided to stay in Warri with a friend of mine. Warri is beautiful from what I saw, but from what I was made to understand, I stayed in the good part of Warri. Now, I noticed something weird: Almost all ATMs I tried to use were either bad or overcrowded and I ask: Na so una dey do am?

I left for Awka to fix one or two things and I was amazed at the development from Willie Obiano. Although I think there are a lot of flyovers and bridges, but I think he’s done noble! I took the BRT like bus from Onitsha to Awka and it was for N100 (normally  like 300 before). Last thing, you know that thing they say about people in uniform being sexy? Definitely not the ones in Anambra. Their uniforms have horrible colors.

IMG_20150504_180931 IMG_20150504_172913 IMG_20150504_172944

I took pictures!

  • Avengers

Avengers, Age of Ultron was awesome! As I said here, I saw it at the Trace Movie Takeover and you should check them on Twitter and Instagram to be aware of the next time this is happening. Finally someone can lift Thor’s hammer, or do I call it something? It was a very funny movie really, because I must confess I laughed at some inside jokes. Now, I hope Tony Stark stops his oversabi attitude because it got the Avengers into the wahala they were facing. Now I have two questions, what happens to Jarvis now? And what about Hulk?

That’s it for today! I’ll write about Game of Thrones tomorrow and you can get all the articles on the previous episodes here

Image Credit: StyleVitae, Fashionista, Tumblr

5 Reasons I Can’t Join Fitfam


@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?

@Twitter User One: Ab-workout, squats, planks, push ups, leg throw. RT @DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?

@Twitter UserTwo: “@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?” Jogged and then push-ups

@TwitterUserThree: Went to the gym. Summer body loading! “@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?”

@TwitterUserFour: @DeLaTerre: 20 sit ups, 10 push ups, 30 flutter kicks, elbow plank, 40 squats and I ran on 3rd Mainland bridge.

You can’t even tell me you’ve not seen things like this on your timeline before. It is the biggest new thing (craze) on your timeline after the beard gang thing. Different nutritional health brands, a lot of ideas and workout plans, many more fishes in the support group and all that.

Disclaimer: This is the story of a failed #fitfam member.

Now, I used to dream to be fit you know? It started on a normal day when I was twatching on the timeline.

@DeLaTerre: Fitstud motivation: (insert picstitch with before/after picture) It’s @iamxyz

@TwitterUserFive: @DeLaTerre @iamxyz OMG! Is that you Bam Bam?

@TwitterUserSix: YUMMMM! RT @DeLaTerre: Fitstud motivation: (insert before picture) (insert after picture) It’s @iamxyz

And then the comments come rolling in. You know how you get motivated yannah? When you see people who used to be like you become like someone else in few days (not a few days – a lot of days). And then you get the motivation. You know you want to send in that picstich of you before and after bragging too the whole world.

“If I can dream it, I can do it”

And that’s it. You start. I even got a meal plan (let’s not talk about that). Then, I started exercising. From exercising, it became more of music and less of exercising. I’ll just plug my headphone and then lose myself for a couple of minutes. It was probably at this junction I found out it won’t work for me.

Now, I appreciate you all working out real hard (I don’t like you and I’m jealous) but here are the reasons I don’t see myself joining the fitfam navy anytime soon.

1. I’m a glutton – Even though my body shape doesn’t approve of this notion, I really love to eat. So far you’re not giving me beans, bitter leaf soup, ukwa (a traditional igbo meal), I guess I’m fine. Jollof rice does no wrong in my eyes no matter how bad it is. I basically eat everything, at anytime I can get it. I’m that dude who can wake his neighbors as early as 2 all because I want to satisfy my craving. Now with #Fitfam, I get to be restricted to some foods and even say complete goodbye to some which I know I can’t.

2. My pocket is not ready yet – There was a time my boss took me to one restaurant in VI for a lunch meeting and I ordered one special food like this (PS: I had mailed one fitness trainer earlier and they had prepared a diet for me). So I attempted to have the food from the diet and it was very expensive. You needed to see the shock when I now saw the quantity. Father Lord, I wanted to cry. I was struggling hard to follow up during the meeting because I was just looking at my own food and crying within. No, but seriously, maybe not as I’m a student right now. Sometime in the distant future.

3. I’m lazy when it comes to exercising – The last time I signed up for a gym, I went just four times in a month. I’m very passionate about it though. I watch videos off Youtube and stuffs, but when it comes to actual performance, mba. (Don’t ask me how many push-ups I can do). The worst is even waking up at 5am to jog around. The day my roomate woke me up to do that stuff, it wasn’t funny. That’s the hardest because it’s around that time that the sleep is most beautiful.

4. I have a sweet tooth – Haribos, Ice-cream, chocolates, cakes, everything, jekuje. I eat them. And I don’t get tired of them. I’m Igbo, so I hardly spend my money on them but if I’m trying to belong to #fitfam, I have to say goodbye to them totally which won’t be as easy as people think it is. I don’t think a day goes by without me taking a candy or something sugary.

5. I don’t have a pot belly/ I think my body is okay – I remember the first time I told a friend I was joining #fatfam and she was like “ah, thini beku like you. You want to break?”. Another asked me “which weight do you want to loose?” Then I checked the mirror, I may not have any pacs you know, but there’s no Igbo pot belly anywhere. I’m just that slim dude without pacs (but wait oh, no pacs, no beard too–> 😥 ) So I won’t want to “loose the small weight I’ve put on” as people would say.

Anyway, kudos to you all on the movement! More ugwu smoothies and squats.

Are you in the #fitfam? If yes, why? If no, why not?