50 Shades of Grey: Movie Review

Frank: What’s up guys? This week, we’ll be speaking about 50 Shades of Grey movie. Now, I watched this and reached out to a couple of people on twitter and here’s what they thought: Continue reading 50 Shades of Grey: Movie Review

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5 Favorite Things This Week

Hello guys, good day and happy new month! Today is the 6th Day of March and it’s my little sister’s birthday. I think she’s 11 today. Happy Birthday Sheila, have a great year ahead of you and be more ( I won’t expose your secrets on my blog). Anyway, this week I’ve been very lazy. I saw Selma this week and I was like “I was going to write a review on my blog” but you know how you say one thing and do another. So I’ll do Selma next week, mid week hopefully. This week, I’ll be telling you about my favorite things and as usual, they come in no particular order. You can try them out or take a look at them when you feel like.

Continue reading 5 Favorite Things This Week

Results: How Lagosian are You?

Good day everyone. I’m very excited to be able to write today, first because of the polls I conducted on my blog and the massive response I got and more importantly, because I’m writing exactly a week after my last post (looks like someone is learning this consistency thing). So without wasting so much time, I’ll proceed to the results of the poll we took. You assess yourself by what you would have answered/you answered and let’s see how Lagosian you are

 

You are on your lane (either driving or seating down in passenger’s seat) and a danfo tries to overtake you. What do you do?

  • 59% went for “What are you driving?” “Don’t you have eyes?”
  • 19% went for I don’t say anything. I’ll probably just sigh in silence
  • 14% went for Come out of the car, check if your car has any scratch
  • 10% went for None of the above

Personally, I feel the “What are you driving, Don’t you have eyes” line applies to those of us who frequent the passenger’s seat. If you’re regularly behind the wheels, then you’ll probably be among the 14% that come out to check for scratches. 

 

You are very thirsty and coming out from the office/school etc. What do you do?

  • 64% went for Buy cold pure water and drink as much as I can until the organs in my body can feel it
  • 18% went for Buy yoghurt/La Casera and drink it until I can find a bus
  • 18% went for Buy yoghurt/La Casera and wait till I get to a bus/my car to drink
  • 0% went for I’ll wait till I get home, after all we have water and food in my house

Typical. I would actually buy cold pure water too. But let me throw a question, is there a particular reason why we aren’t supposed to drink on the road? I’ve heard it before

 

Have you ever forgotten your change in a commercial vehicle?

  • 60% went for Yes, I have.
  • 30% went for I’m a guy man. They cannot deceive me
  • 10% went for Yes, I have and the sum was more than N500
  • 0% went for No, I drive my own car duh

Very sorry about the 10% that have forgotten more than N500. I hardly forget my change nowadays though.

 

You went to buy something at the store in your area and you see little children fighting. What do you do?

  • 35% went for Captain America to the rescue, go and separate them
  • 25% went for Pretend you didn’t see them and go to the store
  • 25% went for Take your phone and make a video to post to twitter
  • 15% went for Laugh and continue laughing till you go home

This is one poll that as you can see the margin between the answer and other conflicting answers is very close. I strongly believe the 35% majority are all Yoruba people first. I would be caught among the 25% either making a video, but not posting to twitter or the 15% who continue laughing.

 

You take a N70 bus from Ojuelegba to Onipanu. You give the conductor a N100 note halfway into the journey and he says he doesn’t have change. What do you do?

  • 68% went for Ask him to look for N20 at the bus-stop
  • 21% went for Insult him and make him realize that N30 is not small money and then drop
  • 5% went for Leave the N30 naira for him, afterall it’s just N30
  • 5% went for Follow him down to the next bus-stop, Palmgroove until he finds change

Hahaha, yes! This is spot on. I however believe many Lagosians, especially those elderly women will follow him till he gets to Palmgroove and find change, probably with the excuse that “If you steal N30 worth of stuff in the market, they will put tyre on your head and burn you”

 

Then, we move on to the yes/no questions

 

Have you ever crossed the highway ignoring the overhead bridge just close to you?

  • 78% went for Yes
  • 22% went for No

I think I’m among the 22% on a normal day, but days when I’m extra stressed, I’ll probably use the highway. But abeg, let’s use our overhead bridge.

 

Have you ever bribed or let’s say tipped an official in uniform?

  • 67% went for No
  • 33% went for Yes

I FLOW WITH THE MAJORITY HERE! I REPEAT I FLOW WITH THE MAJORITY

 

Have you ever run after a bus to get on it?

  • 76% went for Yes
  • 24% went for No

I hardly run for buses, really so I don’t know how this works

 

Have you ever stood to watch a fight in Lagos?
  • 82% went for Yes
  • 18% went for No

I understand the 18% and their fear for broken bottles and that the fight might get to wherever you’re standing, but try to watch one day. It’s a very funny mix of emotions.

 

Have you ever boarded a molue?

  • 71% went for Yes
  • 29% went for No

I haven’t boarded one before.

 

Have you ever been insulted by a market woman?

  • 65% went for Yes
  • 35% went for No

I can imagine it would have been a serious case for her to have insulted you, probably a case of under pricing or something or yes, pushing down her wares.

 

Have you ever eaten ewa agoin and bread outside your house?

  • 67% went for Yes
  • 33% went for No

Me, neither. I don’t like ewa agoin.

 

So based on popular view of people who voted, my choice was selected 6 times.

 

What do you think? See you next week

 

How Lagosian are you?

 

 

 

Hello guys, happy new year to you! It’s been a long while since I came here and I want to apologize for not being here in ages. So, I was having a random conversation with someone in a bus a few days ago on my way back from work and we spoke about how Lagos had changed him to this monster he didn’t expect, and that’s where the inspiration for this came up. I’m taking this poll, to find out about Lagosians and what the typical Lagosian will do if he finds himself in any of these scenarios

So, all you have to do is answer correctly and honestly what you will do if you find yourself in any of these scenarios. I’ll post the percentage results next week Friday.

For this set, you have to answer if you’ve done any of these or nah

You can leave a comment if you want to!

5 Favorite Things This Week

I remember telling myself I was going to try to write on a weekly basis but sometimes, you say A and B happens. So here’s what I came up with, since I go through a lot on weekly basis, why don’t I try to be positive and tell you about my best things this week (some weeks, it might be worst things) but all the same, I get to express myself freely without any form of struggle humor or literary criticism.

This week for me, was quite stressful. Started out with a few hangouts and ended up with work. (And I was moved to a new office by the way) Anyway, in no particular order, here are my favorite things this week:
1. Scandal

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So this week, I got everything about Scandal in my palms. I hadn’t been following it up, but now I was ready to. Despite my busy schedule at the office, I was able to watch all episodes of Scandal and damn, I’m impressed. (I actually can’t wait for more, Shonda). First, I miss Harrison but anyway, I love that Aby and Quinn have more serious things doing. They used to be basically Olivia’s puppets all along. Then, I think I love Olitz rekindling (even though Olivia needs to stop that unnecessary serenre sometimes). I also love Cyrus and his new lover (they’re so cute!) And damn, Rowan Pope is the devil himself.

2. Tabula Rasa

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I like to say without mincing words that Brymo’s album is the best album of 2014. Best because probably I wasn’t expecting such from him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he can’t deliver or something. This album is the perfect mix of everything for me and at least, I play once a day just because I can. My favorite song is track 4, ‘Dear Child’

3. The guys at Stand to End Rape (STER)

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I totally enjoy my time hanging out (meeting) with the guys at STER. The last time, we went out to buy food and it was so funny because I actually just found out there was something sexual about ponmo. Like I was like, “Is your ponmo soft” and Ayodeji, Lade and Dasola pounced at me. I hope we get to hang out more! Oh, Olaomo and IJ are very cool people too (Before they slay me for not mentioning them)
In case you were wondering, Stand to End Rape Initiative is a non-profit organization which I volunteered for. As the name implies, we’re standing to end rape and we’re calling on everyone to join us in this cause.
4. These Words Expose Us: The Naked Convos Anthology

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I’ll probably do a proper review later on before the TNC event which holds on 21st December (I think) but for now, this should work. The book is amazing! The speed at which I finished it was alarming to me also. I loved the cover art by Tokunbo and I must commend the editing by Wole Talabi. A lot of great writers penned down in the book, so you should probably get yours and read. I must also famz that I talk to a few of these writers, and I will get autographs. My favorite story is ‘The Thing with Mr Lawal’ by Pemi Aguda. There’s something about that story, that made me love her. I had to actually search and read through her stuffs on BellaNaija. She’s good people!

 

5. Leopard People

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If you’ve read ‘Akata Witch’ by Nnedi Okoroafor, ‘Leopard People’ shouldn’t be a new word. But it means way more, because my book club goes by the same name. We had a meet up at Coldstone on Sunday and it was fun talking over beautiful cupcakes (which I managed to get home), ice-cream, drinks and glasses (yes, when I uploaded a picture on Instagram, someone said almost all of us had glasses.) We also had a book exchange and it was fun and we hope to do it again next month.

Peace, love and whatever you wish for!

5 Reasons I Can’t Join Fitfam

 

@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?

@Twitter User One: Ab-workout, squats, planks, push ups, leg throw. RT @DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?

@Twitter UserTwo: “@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?” Jogged and then push-ups

@TwitterUserThree: Went to the gym. Summer body loading! “@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?”

@TwitterUserFour: @DeLaTerre: 20 sit ups, 10 push ups, 30 flutter kicks, elbow plank, 40 squats and I ran on 3rd Mainland bridge.

You can’t even tell me you’ve not seen things like this on your timeline before. It is the biggest new thing (craze) on your timeline after the beard gang thing. Different nutritional health brands, a lot of ideas and workout plans, many more fishes in the support group and all that.

Disclaimer: This is the story of a failed #fitfam member.

Now, I used to dream to be fit you know? It started on a normal day when I was twatching on the timeline.

@DeLaTerre: Fitstud motivation: (insert picstitch with before/after picture) It’s @iamxyz

@TwitterUserFive: @DeLaTerre @iamxyz OMG! Is that you Bam Bam?

@TwitterUserSix: YUMMMM! RT @DeLaTerre: Fitstud motivation: (insert before picture) (insert after picture) It’s @iamxyz

And then the comments come rolling in. You know how you get motivated yannah? When you see people who used to be like you become like someone else in few days (not a few days – a lot of days). And then you get the motivation. You know you want to send in that picstich of you before and after bragging too the whole world.

“If I can dream it, I can do it”

And that’s it. You start. I even got a meal plan (let’s not talk about that). Then, I started exercising. From exercising, it became more of music and less of exercising. I’ll just plug my headphone and then lose myself for a couple of minutes. It was probably at this junction I found out it won’t work for me.

Now, I appreciate you all working out real hard (I don’t like you and I’m jealous) but here are the reasons I don’t see myself joining the fitfam navy anytime soon.

1. I’m a glutton – Even though my body shape doesn’t approve of this notion, I really love to eat. So far you’re not giving me beans, bitter leaf soup, ukwa (a traditional igbo meal), I guess I’m fine. Jollof rice does no wrong in my eyes no matter how bad it is. I basically eat everything, at anytime I can get it. I’m that dude who can wake his neighbors as early as 2 all because I want to satisfy my craving. Now with #Fitfam, I get to be restricted to some foods and even say complete goodbye to some which I know I can’t.

2. My pocket is not ready yet – There was a time my boss took me to one restaurant in VI for a lunch meeting and I ordered one special food like this (PS: I had mailed one fitness trainer earlier and they had prepared a diet for me). So I attempted to have the food from the diet and it was very expensive. You needed to see the shock when I now saw the quantity. Father Lord, I wanted to cry. I was struggling hard to follow up during the meeting because I was just looking at my own food and crying within. No, but seriously, maybe not as I’m a student right now. Sometime in the distant future.

3. I’m lazy when it comes to exercising – The last time I signed up for a gym, I went just four times in a month. I’m very passionate about it though. I watch videos off Youtube and stuffs, but when it comes to actual performance, mba. (Don’t ask me how many push-ups I can do). The worst is even waking up at 5am to jog around. The day my roomate woke me up to do that stuff, it wasn’t funny. That’s the hardest because it’s around that time that the sleep is most beautiful.

4. I have a sweet tooth – Haribos, Ice-cream, chocolates, cakes, everything, jekuje. I eat them. And I don’t get tired of them. I’m Igbo, so I hardly spend my money on them but if I’m trying to belong to #fitfam, I have to say goodbye to them totally which won’t be as easy as people think it is. I don’t think a day goes by without me taking a candy or something sugary.

5. I don’t have a pot belly/ I think my body is okay – I remember the first time I told a friend I was joining #fatfam and she was like “ah, thini beku like you. You want to break?”. Another asked me “which weight do you want to loose?” Then I checked the mirror, I may not have any pacs you know, but there’s no Igbo pot belly anywhere. I’m just that slim dude without pacs (but wait oh, no pacs, no beard too–> 😥 ) So I won’t want to “loose the small weight I’ve put on” as people would say.

Anyway, kudos to you all on the movement! More ugwu smoothies and squats.

Are you in the #fitfam? If yes, why? If no, why not?