5 Reasons I Can’t Join Fitfam

 

@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?

@Twitter User One: Ab-workout, squats, planks, push ups, leg throw. RT @DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?

@Twitter UserTwo: “@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?” Jogged and then push-ups

@TwitterUserThree: Went to the gym. Summer body loading! “@DeLaTerre: Good Morning #fitfam, have you exercised today? What did you do?”

@TwitterUserFour: @DeLaTerre: 20 sit ups, 10 push ups, 30 flutter kicks, elbow plank, 40 squats and I ran on 3rd Mainland bridge.

You can’t even tell me you’ve not seen things like this on your timeline before. It is the biggest new thing (craze) on your timeline after the beard gang thing. Different nutritional health brands, a lot of ideas and workout plans, many more fishes in the support group and all that.

Disclaimer: This is the story of a failed #fitfam member.

Now, I used to dream to be fit you know? It started on a normal day when I was twatching on the timeline.

@DeLaTerre: Fitstud motivation: (insert picstitch with before/after picture) It’s @iamxyz

@TwitterUserFive: @DeLaTerre @iamxyz OMG! Is that you Bam Bam?

@TwitterUserSix: YUMMMM! RT @DeLaTerre: Fitstud motivation: (insert before picture) (insert after picture) It’s @iamxyz

And then the comments come rolling in. You know how you get motivated yannah? When you see people who used to be like you become like someone else in few days (not a few days – a lot of days). And then you get the motivation. You know you want to send in that picstich of you before and after bragging too the whole world.

“If I can dream it, I can do it”

And that’s it. You start. I even got a meal plan (let’s not talk about that). Then, I started exercising. From exercising, it became more of music and less of exercising. I’ll just plug my headphone and then lose myself for a couple of minutes. It was probably at this junction I found out it won’t work for me.

Now, I appreciate you all working out real hard (I don’t like you and I’m jealous) but here are the reasons I don’t see myself joining the fitfam navy anytime soon.

1. I’m a glutton – Even though my body shape doesn’t approve of this notion, I really love to eat. So far you’re not giving me beans, bitter leaf soup, ukwa (a traditional igbo meal), I guess I’m fine. Jollof rice does no wrong in my eyes no matter how bad it is. I basically eat everything, at anytime I can get it. I’m that dude who can wake his neighbors as early as 2 all because I want to satisfy my craving. Now with #Fitfam, I get to be restricted to some foods and even say complete goodbye to some which I know I can’t.

2. My pocket is not ready yet – There was a time my boss took me to one restaurant in VI for a lunch meeting and I ordered one special food like this (PS: I had mailed one fitness trainer earlier and they had prepared a diet for me). So I attempted to have the food from the diet and it was very expensive. You needed to see the shock when I now saw the quantity. Father Lord, I wanted to cry. I was struggling hard to follow up during the meeting because I was just looking at my own food and crying within. No, but seriously, maybe not as I’m a student right now. Sometime in the distant future.

3. I’m lazy when it comes to exercising – The last time I signed up for a gym, I went just four times in a month. I’m very passionate about it though. I watch videos off Youtube and stuffs, but when it comes to actual performance, mba. (Don’t ask me how many push-ups I can do). The worst is even waking up at 5am to jog around. The day my roomate woke me up to do that stuff, it wasn’t funny. That’s the hardest because it’s around that time that the sleep is most beautiful.

4. I have a sweet tooth – Haribos, Ice-cream, chocolates, cakes, everything, jekuje. I eat them. And I don’t get tired of them. I’m Igbo, so I hardly spend my money on them but if I’m trying to belong to #fitfam, I have to say goodbye to them totally which won’t be as easy as people think it is. I don’t think a day goes by without me taking a candy or something sugary.

5. I don’t have a pot belly/ I think my body is okay – I remember the first time I told a friend I was joining #fatfam and she was like “ah, thini beku like you. You want to break?”. Another asked me “which weight do you want to loose?” Then I checked the mirror, I may not have any pacs you know, but there’s no Igbo pot belly anywhere. I’m just that slim dude without pacs (but wait oh, no pacs, no beard too–> ūüė• ) So I won’t want to “loose the small weight I’ve put on” as people would say.

Anyway, kudos to you all on the movement! More ugwu smoothies and squats.

Are you in the #fitfam? If yes, why? If no, why not?

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Half of a Yellow Sun: Movie Review

 

This is my own kind of review for Half of a Yellow Sun which was originally written by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I read the book when my book club read it early this year and I completely loved it. Favorite character when I read was Ugwu. Anyway, somehow, I feel I should do this and here it is.

Cast 

Chiwetel Ejiofor – Odenigbo
Thandie Newton – Olanna
Anika Noni Rose – Kainene
John Boyega – Ugwu
Zach Orji – Chief Ozobia
Onyeka Onwenu – Mama
Tina Mba – Mrs Ozobia
Genevieve Nnaji – Miss Adebayo
Gloria Young – Kainene/Olanna’s aunt
O.C Ukeje – Aniekwena
Wale Ojo – Minister
Joseph Mawie – Richard
Babou Ceesay – Okeoma
Susan Wokoma – Amara
Paul Hampshire – Prof Lehman

Location РNigeria, London

Time Р111 minutes

The movie started with the big disco ball¬†thing that I didn’t understand but anyway¬†that’s by the side. I love the clips/footages they kept on inserting for reference purposes. It made it even better for me seeing as I knew little or nothing about what happened during that era (Saw how Nigerians trouped out en¬†masse to wave at the queen and it was¬†hilarious to me).

Then, I loved everything about Wale Ojo who played the Minister in the movie. His accent and costume were okay. Generally, the costume completely throughout the movie was very good. The location and the props? Even better. I also loved the occasions where I saw Tina Mba (Mrs Ozobia) and Gloria Young (Kainene/Olanna’s aunt) in the movie (somehow, I regard both as great Nollywood actresses so I’m guessing that’s why). Then, Kainene’s dance with Richard Churchill in the club, wonderful. Did I say I also enjoyed the music they played in the movie too? (The music was very good but I’m just asking, weren’t we supposed to hear ‘Bother You’ by D’banj at some point? I thought it was the theme song for the movie?)

Also, still on the things I liked, Onyeka Onwenu’s (Mama) act in the movie was great. Typical Nigerian Igbo mother I would say. Plus her song she composed using her son’s name? I loved it! My favorite person in the movie has to be Anika Noni Rose (Kainene Ozobia). The grace she exuded was simply amazing – the time where she had to be taken a shot at the Independence party, the way she sat down when she came to Olanna’s, her looks, her dresses, everything. She was amazing. I also enjoyed John Boyega (Ugwu) even though I felt more light should have been thrown on him. I mean, he was my favorite character when I read the book. We didn’t see the part where he had a girlfriend who lived down the street and all the interesting moments he had.

Chiwetel Ejiofor (Odenigbo) was an awesome choice of actor really. I tried searching for someone who would play that and I didn’t see and I actually hope the hair on his chest was just costume. As for Joseph Mawie (Richard), I only felt him when he was trying to win Kainene. He became boring after. Dude almost ate Olanna’s mouth when they kissed.

For Olanna (Thandie Newton), I think she did her best. I would have however loved to see a Nigerian play that – Genevieve Nnaji or even Rita Dominic. I didn’t quite feel her pronunciation of almost all the Igbo words. The Igbo was much better with Odenigbo and Kainene. But I loved her nevertheless. And I hated her when she told Ugwu to switch off the kerosene stove and “firewood is a luxury where you come from” (I felt her taking jab at Nigerians generally). Miss Adebayo (Genevieve Nnaji) was okay. A switch would have been okay -Thandie for Miss Adebayo and Genevieve for Olanna. Thandie has a lot of anger I would have loved to see from Miss Adebayo.

Part of my problem with the movie was the fact that we didn’t know how the characters moved. People were just travelling across the scenes. One minute, Olanna is in Nsukka and the next minute she’s off to Kano and then Lagos. There were diagrams kinda but they were not consistent. Even Mama, Ugwu and a lot traveled without the viewers knowing. Then I’ll say, the movie lacked a lot of details you know? Like when Kainene and Richard first met, whose house did they end up having sex? Small but important details. And the part where Olanna returned when Mama and Amala were traveling, did Odenigbo actually drive them or just put them in the car and came back inside? Then, how did Miss Adebayo know of Kainene Ozobia? She asked Richard about her and you’re like where did that come from? And then whose breasts did Olanna suckle on if not her mum’s and why? (Seeing as Mama used that against her)

Anyway, I believe it’s an adaptation and considering the fact that the book was a great read, you won’t really find an adaptation close to or something so I’ll rate it a 5.5 on a scale of 1-10. I’ll also recommend that time shouldn’t be a barrier, after all Djanjo Unchained was close to 3 hours and people still watched. There were a lot of interesting portions of the book to be executed really.

That’s my two cents. You can check out the Youtube¬†Trailer