Music and TV · Reviews

Game of Thrones: Season Five Episode Three

More and more things unfold in this episode of Game of Thrones and it’s just three episodes in. You can check the other two episodes here and here 

Of course there are spoilers, but if you don’t mind (like me, most times), you can proceed!

  • Arya Stark

We started off with Arya last week and we’re back here with her again. Arya is safe at Braavos in the Black and White House and she doesn’t like what she’s been up to. In her own words, “I didn’t come here to sweep floors” (I feel she was being Nigerian when she said this). Now, to be here for the real deal and become one of the faceless men, Arya has to get rid of her possessions which she does accordingly but keeps Needle in a pile of rocks (I was really happy she didn’t part with this). Now, how did the man Jaqen H’ghar give water die? What was his offence?

Anyway, good luck Arya. Maybe a Nikita division process is up for you.

 

  • Tommen, Margaery and Cersei 

It’s not going down well with the Baratheons and I’m pretty sure you know why. The whole of King’s Landing have come out to see their king get married and of course, they have his name and Margaery’s on their lips. This doesn’t go down well with Cersei (pretty sure she thought of the prophecy of the witch here  and maybe Margaery is the beautiful young queen to take her down).

Quick one: Tommen looks like his brother, with a better smile!

Now, Margaery isn’t even joking with this Queen title (let us remember that she married a gay man just to be called queen) as she’s doing all she can within her power to have Tommen to herself. This is shown on the wedding night when they made love and then the king says this is all he wants to do all day of his life. Margaery is a smart lady and she does well to make Tommen feel like a boy toy because of the presence of his mother. Poor baby boy Tommen speaks to mama to find peace in Casterly Rock and Cersei likes a good fight, so nope! Cersei was basically trying to shade her son’s new wife before this, but I guess the fastest way to a man’s head is through his penis.

NOW PAUSSEE!

 

This is the greatest shade moment on this TV show ever

Cersei isn’t having any of that and goes to meet Margaery. Margaery on the other hand is well prepared and comes back with cream coated greetings.

WAIT FOR IT

“What is the proper way to address you now, Queen Mother or Dowager Queen?”

WHAT? WHAT? 

i am so fucking mad

She doesn’t even stop there, she then makes Cersei aware of what went down last night by saying

“The Queen Mother will be a Queen grandmother soon”

 

Cersei swears she could do this to Margaery right now
Cersei swears she could do this to Margaery right now

And me, all while this was going on, was on my seat like

Well done Margaery! Well done
Well done Margaery! Well done

So let’s see what comeback Cersei has. I think she’s plotting something (isn’t she always plotting?)

  • Sansa Stark

So here, I predicted Sansa and Petyr Baelish as a cute couple and the guys at HBO proved me wrong. Yes, they are all so cool now but no, Petyr is giving her to the Boltons (Sansa must feel like a piece for a bazaar sale right now. From the King Baratheon to Tyrion Lannister and now, Ramsay Bolton). Sansa is at first unwilling but Petyr convinces her (this he does by giving a speech on how she’s been a bystander since her father was executed) and poom, she’s shipped to the North where she’s received gracefully.

So now, the Boltons have control of her  and her childhood home and Lord Baelish can rely on the North for whatever he desires. I wish Sansa the best really, knowing what kind of person Ramsay Bolton is. Then, since we are still at the North, I move the motion for Theon Grejoy to get a bath too (seeing as guilty Arya has taken one since the last episode) 

  • Lady Brienne and Podrick

Brienne and Podrick are still on the chase for the Stark girls and I must salute their courage. There’s a bit of bonding in this episode as she encouraged Podrick and promises to train him to be a knight. She also goes on to tell him about her and how she was embarrased and superhero Renly to the rescue (felt bad for her)

  • Jon Snow

This was one of the best moments I had on this episode.

*skips all the long talk Jon had earlier and move to serious stuff*

So our new commander has his first meeting and he assigned Janos Slynt to Greyguard but this man thinks our new commander is here to play. Jon orders him to be bound and asks for his sword to be gotten. Now, Janos is seen asking for mercy.

THERE IS A HEAD OFF! THERE IS A HEAD OFF!

Honestly yes!
Honestly yes!

Like man, Jon Snow isn’t here to laugh with you guys this season neither is he here to be an emotional wreck. Dude actually sliced off his head, keeping the Game of Thrones rule alive “Once a sword is out of the scabbard, it sure is doing what it came out for”. 

Okay back to what happened before Jon cut off someone’s head

Jon is fine with his new position and tells Stannis he can’t take this offer to be a Stark and take the North for him. Stannis has no option, doesn’t wait his time trying to convince Snow.

  • Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion is tired of the journey with Varys and doesn’t even hide it

Tyrion anyway is in Volantis and goes to a brothel. Cut long story short, Jorah Mormont seizes him and says he’s taking him to the queen. Now it just dawned on me, that queen here may not be Daenerys, could be Cersei who wants her brother’s head at all cost.

No Daenerys this week?

eye roll

Until next week, Peace!

If you missed any episodes, you can catch them all on the website or click here . If you have any plot twists, I’ll like to know

 

Image Credit: Game of Quotes and Tumblr

 

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