Music and TV · Reviews

50 Shades of Grey: Movie Review

Frank: What’s up guys? This week, we’ll be speaking about 50 Shades of Grey movie. Now, I watched this and reached out to a couple of people on twitter and here’s what they thought:

Cast

  • Dakota Johson – Anastasia Steele
  • Jamie Dornan – Christian Grey
  • Eloise Mumford – Katherine Kavanagh
  • Jennifer Ehle – Carla Wilks
  • Marcia Gay Harden – Grace Grey
  • Victor Rasuk – Jose Rodriguez
  • Luke Grimes – Elliot Grey
  • Rita Ora – Mia Grey
  • Max Martini – Jason Taylor
  • Callum Keith Rennie – Ray Steele
  • Andrew Airlie – Carrick Grey

Location – United States

Time – 125 minutes

Frank: Looks like the movie was that bad uh? The numbers aren’t even generous. Anyway, welcome Daisy. She’s here to speak about the movie.

Daisy: So I have read the book and before we go on, let me just say this movie was a disappointment. Where do I even begin?

Frank: Well, I just went back to read the book after the movie so maybe I’m not as disappointed as you are

Daisy: Let’s start with the “plot”. It basically revolves around two people, Anastasia Steele, a shy girl who knows nothing about sex, because she’s a virgin and Christian Grey, a supposedly hot hunk of man with body of an Adonis god who is into BDSM. (Meaning he likes inflicting pain, but he is rich so it’s okay you know).

Frank: LOL Daisy must be Igbo maybe

Daisy: Now I wasn’t expecting anything over the top because if we are being honest the book doesn’t really have that much of a plot to fall back on, but this is where scriptwriters unleash their superpowers and do something awesome. But apparently all the good scriptwriters in Hollywood were busy because I don’t understand what was happening in this movie. I feel they could have done a little more, heck they could have done a lot more.

Daisy: The cast. I don’t even know where to start from; Dakota Johnson was in my opinion a very good fit to play Anastasia Steele.

Frank: True that

Daisy: She has that look down, now if her acting was a lot better it could have been a home run for me. Jamie Dornan (who is that by the way?) did not do anything for me. *cries in disappointment*

Frank: Common, I felt he was okay. I only think he needs to trim that beard. He now has this very annoying beard (Not every time beard gang, sometimes beardless is okay)

Daisy: Yup! That beard gang thing he is doing now is not working. Anyway, Christian Grey is supposed to be a hunk with intensity about him. Jamie reminded me of Edward Cullen, nothing intense or sexy about that. The scene where he tells Ms Steele “I don’t make love, I fuck” I just wanted to hug him and say “Eh yah, you go dey alright” Nothing for me!

Frank: I felt … I felt it a little

Daisy: Common Frank, There was no Chemistry between both of them, all their scenes looked painfully stiff and awkward. It was almost like they were bullied to be in them.

Frank: I loved it now.

Daisy:  Now the sex scenes everyone was waiting to see how it would play out, I’m sure a large number of people were disappointed.

Frank: I for one wasn’t. Especially that ice block scene. Lord Jesus! *hyperventilates*

Daisy:  Loooool all is well ba? Nothing memorable here, I know I know they couldn’t act the scenes exactly bla bla bla… but come on for the love of everything nice, they could have at least tried… (As for the gist about people who were caught messing around in movie theaters after viewing? You all need help).

Frank: I can imagine what Ozone looked like seriously.

Daisy: *shivers*

Daisy: Honorary mention, Anastasia’s roommate was supposed to be this drop dead gorgeous girl, hmmmm. Eloise is pretty of course but in a girl next door type of way. Ah well, beauty, eyes, beholder and all that jazz. Rita Ora’s character? LOL

Frank: Don’t mess with my Rita please. I love my Rita so much

Daisy:  Loooooooool very what? Very good. The worst part of all of this? I streamed this movie online, no thanks to it being banned here in Nigeria (priorities people). I can’t even put to words how pained I was when the movie ended *cries in lost data*.There are two more books and I hope to God they are no more movies in the future. Although I doubt it, you know how these people can be now

Frank: Come on, I want a sequel. So you just want them to say goodbye just like that, no. Hopefully, you won’t stream the sequel online. Or you might, if Jimi Agbaje wins and provides us free hot-spots as he promised.

Daisy: Anyway Frank, what did you honestly think about it?

Frank: It was okay for me. I feel the sex scenes were very detailed

Daisy: What?

Frank: Maybe ‘cos I know nothing about these things. But they were detailed and hot and steamy and everything. I also think Dakota was amazing! And I would like to see a sequel, maybe not pay to see a sequel but I’ll like to see one. And the music was amazing. ‘Love me like you Do’ by Ellie Goulding was great, ‘Salted Wound’ by Sia was great, the remixes to ‘Crazy in Love’ and ‘Haunted’ were great and ‘Earned it’ by the Weeknd was good.

Daisy: Yeah the only good thing to come out of this is the Soundtrack. Songs were fire! So what would you rate it?

Frank: Honestly 4. You?

Daisy: Maybe 3

So that’s a 3.5 from the guys here! What did you think?50

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3 thoughts on “50 Shades of Grey: Movie Review

  1. The movie script was such shit because E.L. James had creative control over the script.

    Book was shit so wasn’t really expecting much, but the movie still didn’t meet my very very very veeeeery low expectations.

    Henry Cavalli would have been a waaaaay better choice for Grey than that James whatever guy. He actually made me more annoyed that excited. And his facial expressions are terrible. The movie did NOTHING for me. Nothing. The movie just amplifies how terrible the book is. I mean with the book you could use your imagination and make it as good as you want.

    The movie is terrible. The acting sucked most of the time. And the shots were too “dramatic” for the subject of the movie.

    There’s a sequel in the works. E.L. James has talked about it. I hope someone shuts her out when they’re shooting and directing the movie. Maybe it’ll be a little better.

    Rating: 1 star

  2. after all the unnecessary hype bout this movie, I expected something better. 50 shades of grey wasn’t worth the Mb I wasted. the so called sex scenes didn’t pack any sort of punch. like Frank said the sound track was my only comfort. I rate the movie 2.3……

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